Low mood today, kinda missing home and everyone there again. And so Cinema One also likes to add up to my emotion as they have shown the movie "Dubai", the same place that I am living in at the moment. I again ask the question, what am I still doing here and is it still worth it? Though I perfectly know the answer... have no choice since we still have a lot of financial obligations. And the phrase from a song pops into my head.. it's not about the money,money,money! Hell no! It is all about the money...sad to say.
Don't get me wrong, of course I am grateful that we are able to work abroad. As everyone knows, almost half or more than of the Philippine population wants to work outside our beloved country. One works abroad for better future, greater income or to help the family back home. At first, it was exciting and all..new environment, mixed cultures, fabulous office buildings and better road way. And a very good way to boost ones confidence since you're able to penetrate the international business.
But as time goes by, the purpose of earning big and saving a lot seems harder. It's like you even load yourself with a lot of loans and credit. Why is that? The time that you were supposed to be with your family is compensated by material things. You try to make up for the lost times with them with a box filled with goods and things they want just so to let them know that we love them. And when the time for the annual vacation comes, all the savings you have is just spent in a month's time because you want to treat your family and friends to amonth-long of happy times because after that you'll be gone away again for over a year or two, and the crying starts.
Then there are those times that you feel so lonely that you just want to be happy..going to bars,drinking your hearts' out til you feel numb and just sleep, shop all you want and say that it is your treat for yourself for the hard work you've been doing. You spent it with your so-called friends that you think do really care for you. And when the happy moments are over, they would be hard to reach coz everyone's busy minding their own lives, problems and freakin businesses..and yes, see you til the next happy moment. Few stays through the rough and hard moments. So you'll feel alone and tired...and homesick again and think of your support system at home. Well, Im just luckier since I have my hubs and some family here. Helps me stay sane still.
Work, money, work, money but it is still like they were never enough. Because most importantly, you'd want to spend time with your family and true friends...then you'll be truly happy. So I'm hoping to finish all of our financial obligations here and move back home. Try our luck there and be back to being contented and have that smile that reaches to the heart. The high price of living away from home, for them to live more comfortably. =(
